I just returned from the last in my Shake, Rattle, and Roll Series for one and two-year-olds. As any parent or grandparent with this age child knows, life is always interesting (to say the least!). The library is the perfect place to begin to learn how to behave in public, and I am always amazed at the creative ways parents think of to not only survive, but to enjoy the experience! Today was a perfect example.This particular series was music time and parent education about how to use music to build early literacy skills. One mom with an adorable two-year old who wanted to just RUN- scooped him up and stood with him for the whole program. She bounced, twirled, and swayed, and stayed focused on what we were doing, while staying in the same space. She was fully engaged in the songs, and her son followed her cue. The result was that they shared special time and were both fully present for it. Instead of chasing him around, or leaving the room, she found a way they could interact together; she was relaxed and joyful! It was a tribute to good parenting.
There is no technique that works for every child every time he or she is in public. But there are ways to make it work most of the time. Every successful shared experience you and your child have will help to build your relationship, his relationship to and respect of others, and leave memories in both of your hearts.
After thirty years of giving children's concerts, I have gathered a few tips that you can use to insure you and your child have a positive experience at a concert or other public program. Try them next time you find yourself at a program with an active child!
1. Sit with your child! This sounds obvious, but often adults feel they will obstruct the view if they sit right in the audience. If children are seated on the floor, don't worry about it. Children behind you will move around so they can see. And if you are sitting with your child you can monitor and model behavior, quietly dealing with any problem that may arise. There's nothing quite as distracting as an adult trying to get his or her child's attention from the back of the room. It always seems the child is the only one not listening!
2.If you have what my best friend, Marylee, calls a "little zoomer," it helps to not sit in the front row. Just sit 3 or 4 rows back, and your child will be more likely to stay there.
3.If your child gets away from you (they are VERY fast) and somehow makes it to the front of the room and the "stage" area, don't hesitate to get up and gently take him or her back to your spot. This can be done quickly and will not disrupt a seasoned performer!
4.If your child is just not ready to sit for a program, (two-year-olds are allowed to not feel like sitting!) feel free to leave the room and walk around outside, or just come back another day. Like everything else, learning how to behave in public is a process, more diffiult for some than others. And one of the things we get to do is decide what kind of citizens we want to send into the world. It is a privilege and a responsibity.And a whole lot of fun!
On a more personal note from this performer... I love performing for children. I always learn from them, and love that I never know what's going to happen next!I use a lot of props, and always invite children up to examine them after the concert. I only step in when safety is involved. A good children's librarian will give clear behavior guidelines before a program, but of course, things just happen!
If you have found strategies for "guiding" your children in public, especially at concerts and theater events, please share them here! After all, it really does take a village- and we're it!
2 comments:
Thank you Nancy. This is perfect, and kind, advice for parents who sometimes also don't know how they should behave in a public place like a library.
I'm so glad it was helpful to you!
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