“Grandma, NO Singing!”

This is what my grandson says to me nearly every time I sing (he’s almost three now). Anyone who knows me, knows that I am absolutely smitten with my two young grandchildren. I was there to see them both arrive into the world, and have been incredibly lucky to help care for them on a regular basis. Of course I was singing to them from the day they were born. In fact, many of my website songs of the month for the last 2 1/2 years were inspired, concocted, and tested while on their watch (insert shameless plug for my FREE website songs here!). So it’s pretty funny that as soon as my grandson had words, he would say, “Grandma! NO singing!” I could have been crushed. I could try to analyze why he would say this. But I make my living singing… people pay me to sing! So I’m pretty sure my voice isn’t that annoying. I do have some theories, but they don’t really matter. What matters, is that I not stop singing to him.

When my grandson says, “Grandma, NO singing,” I pretend to be mortally wounded, as I feign crying (this has always been my response). It has become our private joke. He knows I love to sing, and that I will keep singing, and he’s safe in asking me not to…. because there’s no danger of that happening!

But over the years I have worked with so many adults who have also been told not to sing, and it has left them sad and not to be too dramatic, incomplete. We all need to sing, And as a practical matter, preschool teachers, daycare providers, and children's librarians must sing to do their jobs well.

In my workshop, “Help! I Can’t Sing, But I Want to!” (another shameless plug!) I work with parents, teachers, and childcare providers who believe they “can’t” sing. What I’ve consistently found is that:

1.Every person I have worked with can, indeed sing, and
2. Every person I’ve worked with can remember an exact moment when someone told them they couldn't, or shouldn’t sing. This might have been a child, husband or wife, or even a teacher. But for too many, the end result is the same.From that day forward, they don't sing. This breaks my heart. And it’s one of the many reasons so many adults don’t sing, or are extremely uncomfortable singing.

We are all born with a voice, and we are literally wired to sing. Children need to hear us singing, and they need to be encouraged to discover their own voices. Singing joins us together, teaches us empathy, helps support early literacy, and calms and comforts us- and so much more. It’s much too precious a gift to not use.

Years ago, after presenting at a major conference, I attended a workshop where a nationally known and respected presenter told the audience, “If you can’t sing in tune, don’t sing with children. They will learn out-of-tune singing.” I was mortified. You could just feel the attendees' voices being shut down. First of all, children have so many opportunities to hear in-tune and even well-trained voices, from recordings to concerts, to the many people in their lives. What children don’t have enough of is a live, caring voice. To sit in a lap and feel the vibration of a person’s voice singing to them. Music is our first language; it communicates through emotions. If an adult sings to a child from the heart, that child will be nurtured- regardless of the musical ability of the singer. And this very personal musical connection is what children need.

If you are an adult who has been told not to sing, or just don’t think you “can” sing, know you are not alone. Sadly, you are probably in the majority. But know that you need to sing, and the children in your life need to hear you sing. Period. End of story. We all learn to sing by singing

I'll be writing much more about singing and its benefits to not only young children, but ourselves. We humans are all in this together! In the meantime, Just Sing!

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